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Mummy Social and Me – #SocialSeptmeber

#SocialSeptember & Me:

Let’s go back on a little journey together, way back when on a winters day, I remember needing a pint of milk from the supermarket. With 3 month old twins in tow. My stumbling blocks were vast and many, here are just a few examples:

Do not reverse park when you have a buggy in the boot.

Having two babies in car seats does NOT make it easier to shop.

Yes, I know I have my hands full.

Yes, they are cute.

Yes, they are mine.

No they aren’t identical. Yes I am absolutely sure, one has a willy and one doesn’t.

Yes, I am married (not that it has any bearing on mine or any one elses parenting ability)

Yes, I am clearly old enough to have children. I have two.

The Supermarket & Me

During a particularly lengthy supermarket interrogation, whilst simply trying to buy said pint of milk, I came to realise this:

How bloody lonely I was.

It was pre the days of utilising social media by way of communicating, and I gave birth before the NCT classes had even begun. 

Mother Teresa  Quote - Parenting Fails & Pigtais
CS Lewis Quote - Parenting Fails & Pigtais

Mummy Friends

I initially didn’t make many new “Mummy Friends”, my lack of confidence was rife. 

Its like being surrounded by people but not feeling a soul around you. Despite having two small things to be responsible for, I felt marooned on an island of sterilisers, puke sodden muslin cloths and a tower of stinking nappies. 

Had it not been for some well timed encouragement from Mama Bear, I think my relationship with the twins would be a fraction what it is today. I am riddled with a life long inability to have confidence in myself. I had resigned to the fact that the twins were better in someone else’s care. Someone who knew what they were doing like our most wonderful Bobby, Denisa & Rhiannon, or someone who seemed to just “get” being a mummy.

The stigma surrounding mental health worries me greatly.  Would you leave a hospital without your stitches tied, or your cannula removed? No, we wouldn’t. Yet loneliness and mental health seems to be hushed over, whispered about, or in the worse case scenarios, downright ignored.

As a child, there was a huge stigma around mental health, a pull your socks up and get on with it kind of attitude. So up those socks were pulled. But post-partum blues were horrendous for me, its a shame that only hindsight showed me this.

When #BossBaby was born,  I got it. It fell into place. Whatever “it” is, for the first time in almost 3 years. From the minute she was born I had the rush. That feeling of love beyond anything else. It also made me realise, I love the twins just like I love her. I wasn’t a failure after all. I was a Mummy, a bonafide parent, not an imposter. And so The Twiglets were unified, one cuss, I mean cuddle, at a time!

#SocialSeptember

When I approached Mummy Social to share my interest in their campaign, #SocialSeptember it was in order to give hope to those who might not be ready quite yet to share EXACTLY how they feel. A safe place, without judgement or shame would have been the most incredible thing for me just shy of a decade ago.

Mummy Social screen shot by Parenting Fails  & Piigtails
Mummy Social screen shot by Parenting Fails  & Piigtails
Mummy Social screen shot by Parenting Fails  & Piigtails

Somewhere to express how I could go from coping to surviving and on to struggling in the space of a day. Heck, it could disintegrate to disaster level in less than an hour. Now I know, that it is ok. It always has been ok, I just didn’t really know it. I can whittle hours away trying to reminisce the twins early years, and as this post involves opening up and telling the truth, shame and embarrassment aside – I feel like I can barely remember a thing.

Other than Thing 1’s first word was shit.

Let that sink in.

S. H. I. T.

All because she had dropped duplo on the floor.

Mother of the Year right there.

I was mortified. Not helped by this happening in front of our brand new neighbours at the time. The very same pair had given us marriage lessons through the church not too many years before! In my defence Mother, I had inadvertently exposed her to this language at such a young age due to dropping a tape measure on my foot and the expletive slipped out of my mouth. I know it is no excuse, but I hadn’t know she was even there let alone in ear shit, I mean shot!

Mummy Social and their #SocialSeptember campaign offers you the ability to find fellow mamas in and around your area. It is easy to navigate and takes seconds to sign up. I would thoroughly recommend giving it a whirl, its free and if I can use it, anyone can!

Mummy Social Quote from Parenting Fails & Pigtails

What the app can offer is amazing. I really hope by signing up, interacting with people and making new friends, we can end loneliness. Together.

PS. please accept my apologies – this post was written and published earlier this month, but I had a technological fail (standard) and have had to repost it. My laptop has been at severe risk of injury for the last 5 hours. I can’t promise its out of the woods yet…..

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