Blog Me Up

Blog Archive

Here you can find all the waffle that escapes from my sole remaining marble, after all, I  would hate you to miss out! Don’t worry, I’ve left the fails in too. After all, life wouldn’t be so much fun if I was doing it right, and I would run out of material to boot!

Fear not my wonderful readers, my mantra will never change, after all, these series of events, really could only happen to me!

Ten Years On

Ten Years On

Ten years ago today, I hadn’t slept a wink. I was nervous, excited and downright terrified. In a matter of hours I was going to be a wife. As is tradition, I stayed with my amazing family the night before, spending hours reminiscing and putting the world to rights....

Grout me up Baby!

Grout me up Baby!

Hello Monday! Today marks the beginning of What could be a potentially an ever so stressful week. We are hoping to achieve the impossible! The mountain of House Jobs piling up around my ears is eye watering. I have absolutely no hope of getting through even the top 5,...

And then there was one

And then there was one

The Twins are on their first residential school trip this weekend and the house is eerily quiet. We live in a constant, almost organised, chaos. I am quite an ordered person, I like straight lines, facts and my clothes to be in colour coded order (ha - long gone are...

Life Fails without pigtails.

Suncream Fails. We’ve all had them. That awful feeling when you or worse still, your baby is more well done than blue. Unfortunately for Thing 1, she has inherited my skin, suffering from the same sun affliction as I do. It doesn’t seem to matter how much sun cream is...

The Lyrics of Married Life

The craziest thing of all, is over ten years has gone by and I’m still standing!!! There are days I question how to be fair, as with any marriage all the roads we have to walk are winding, but 3 kids, 5 houses and 2 ninja kittens later, and I’m quite sure together, we...

Thank you Cancer…

For behaving. The Christie’s has finally called! And you will be pleased to know I am not in terrible shape! I can continue to Wife, Mama and waffle away at you for many moons to come! The Parenting Fails and Pigtails blog began to encourage my little brain cell to do...

MuuTuesday – Its Tuesday Helen…

I am over the moon it is a short week as we have a lot of shizzle on the boil at home, which The Hubs can do if I successfully procrastinate over which one to start for the next 4 days.... Who am I kidding? There isn’t a hope he will work through the mountain of house...

Three Cheers to Good Ideas

Well, three cheers may be a little premature, but I do like a bit of positive thinking mixed with some unabashed hopes and dreams. I feel as though Ive finally started to take my waffle riddled outpourings in the right direction. It has taken a lot of very terrible...

Finding my own way

Happy Thursday one and all. My silence has been as delicious as I had dreamt of, my spirits are lifted and my ear drums have stopped bleeding from the incessant arguing that has been the last 2 weeks of my life. Aannndd RELAX. Ok, maybe not quite relax, there’s the...

One more sleep….

Hoorah for school. Getting the small people out of the house in the morning without Fishwife Friday making an appearance, will be less Hoorah and more GET IN THE CAAAARRRR, but at least it means a car journey in peace once they are dropped off. I’m tempted to maybe...

Wednesday my old pal

I awoke on Monday absolutely convinced we must be half way through the second week of our Easter Hols. As I have no other worldly powers, I had to accept it was indeed only Monday despite my best efforts at visualising my dream. Last week was long, hard work and...

Er is it really only Monday?

I swear its at least Wednesday? Does anyone else find school holidays go on FOREVER?! Don’t get me wrong, I love my little tribe, and I wouldn’t swap them for the world, but some days, some days my patience isn’t just thin its gone and totally evaporated. And today my...

Footloose (ha) and fancy free

So the foot is on the mend. Well, it’s successfully achieving a broad spectrum of colours anyway. And it bloody hurts. Hey ho, at least its less ice cold feeling and more pins and needles now. Stupid, stupid me. My memoirs are going to be priceless. New York Times...

It could only happen to me….

When I state this, it is derived from a genuine astonishment over a series of events that have occurred in the last 48 hours. I am blonde (admittedly it is more bleach, less genetics these days) but it appears this blonde-ness extends to me being an actual imbecile....

NOT Five Hundred Followers Friday 🖤

It is now Saturday after all. And I got botted. Again. Well, whilst my algorithm understanding remains at zero, I have finally made it to 500 followers! (I hope, Im getting started on this post early as the twiglets break up tomorrow - so Im using the power of...

Halfway Hump Day

Hoooorah, I am officially half way through the current Low-Iodine diet, consisting mostly of cardboard, I mean rice cakes, and peanut butter. Thankfully, peanut butter is my bae so we are doing ok together so far 🖤 and at the risk of quoting The Attack twice in a...

Insta-me, Insta-you, Insta-who?

My most infuriating fumble with technology is that of the world of instagram and blogging. I am yet to figure out what algorithm (as if I’d even know what to do with it even if it came and bit me on the ass 😂) is key to reaching like-minded, waffle perusing people and...

Me, Myself & I

Learn a little bit more about what makes me, me. The trials and tribulations of a Mama who isn’t ashamed to acknowledge a fail.

The Twiglets

Unabashed honesty, admissions of screw ups and all that goes with having an army of small folks flanked by two ninja kittens!

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